Found a new me

As the pandemic started to become more loud, the world became more silent. I have always been an extrovert. Meeting new people and exploring new places kind of a guy but sadly this part was doomed as the pandemic took hold of our lives. I started involving myself in this digital space that I never knew would be the only place that I could be in. It started out well with zoom calls, google meets and texting friends, relatives, and colleagues, but soon this became mundane and dull as everything felt so incomplete and hollow. As if every conversation became emotionless. 

As it started getting more silent, the daily errands that I was doing started feeling so heavy and monotonous which eventually led to anxiety. The online social interaction almost went down to zero. If ever I checked social media it felt everyone around was doing so much and I was doing nothing and my self-worth came down to zero. I started worrying a lot and eventually started anxiety eating and sleeping almost throughout the day and in a span of 2 months, I gained 5kgs of weight 

That’s when I decided to do something. I went to YouTube and started searching about meditation and peace of mind videos. I started out with Sadhguru’s beginners in meditation videos and then moved on to some random videos with relaxing music playing and a narration filled with positive affirmations like I am creating the life of my dreams and things I am grateful for. I used to listen to the videos in various corners of my house and mostly after breakfast almost every day. Then one day I was randomly talking to one of my seniors and she suggested to me a book called “The Secret”. I started reading the book and started understanding more about the universe and positive affirmations. The book contains several life-changing stories through positive affirmations and manifestations. After reading the book and practicing meditation I realized even though the world was aching with fear and falling apart, I started accepting the bad and affirming something good and abundant. This led to a complete shift in my personality. Now I feel more confident and happy without people even though I am still an extrovert. However, now these heavy silences don’t feel choking but rather give me a moment to re-think and re-analyse the world through a different perspective. 

– Srijan Pandey (Bachelors in Design, Delhi Technological University)

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